Facing the Fact That I’m a “Phoney”

Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash

Last week I read The Phone Addiction Workbook … on my phone. Was I missing the point? Maybe.

A bit of background. Like many, I’ve become increasingly aware that I spend too much time on my device. I catch myself mindlessly scrolling without even realizing it.

Rather than fully enjoying a meal or a television show with my wife (or a nap), I “multitask” by checking my social media feeds or solving a Sudoku puzzle on an app.

When I need to be heads-down and fully locked in on a task, I often instead end up with my phone in my hand out of sheer habit.

You should never check your phone while driving. I don’t, for the most part. But, regrettably, not always.

It’s become a major problem. Especially as I have some big things I want to accomplish and can’t find the time to make real progress toward them.

It’s reached the point where I need help.

The book I needed

While scrolling (on my phone, of course) through my local library’s available offerings on the Libby app, I stumbled across The Phone Addiction Workbook. I checked out the eBook.

The author, Hilda Burke, a London-based therapist, does a wonderful job of breaking down the psychology behind phone addiction. She also provides tools and strategies to help break our devices’ grip on us. And her 15-question “Smartphone Compulsion Test” made me fully aware of the severity of my problem.

Talk about the right book at the right time!

Time well spent

As I was reading an eBook about phone addiction that I could only access on an app, I had no choice but to read it on my phone.

This wasn’t ideal, but I still gained valuable knowledge and actionable pointers. Burke offers many useful recommendations. These include switching from an unlimited to a limited data plan, embracing mindfulness and meditation, writing a letter from your future self to your current self on what’s most important in life, and more.

In the first few days after I finished the book, I decided to start by taking small but, for me, meaningful steps:

• I enabled a 20-minute screen time limit on Facebook. This was to ensure I don’t mindlessly drop in and out of my feed throughout the day (and night) to find out what my high school classmates are up to, seek out funny memes, or determine if anyone else has joined my one-man crusade to convince McDonald’s to bring back the McDLT.
• I set a timer on my phone when I was reading, so I wouldn’t have to repeatedly jump out of the Libby app to see if it was time to go pick up my son. (I also wouldn’t be tempted to revert to mindless scrolling.) By removing the “What time is it?” distraction, I was able to read much faster. Plus, my reading experience improved significantly.
• The day after I finished The Phone Addiction Workbook, I took our beloved beagle, Waffles, to the vet for surgery. As I sat with her in the examination room, waiting for the tech to come take her away to begin her prep, I started to reach into my pocket for my phone. I stopped myself this time. Instead, I spent the next 10 minutes fully focused on comforting my anxious pup. This was, of course, time well spent.

Not a straight line

The road to recovery is never a straight line. Over the following few days, I caught myself backsliding into old habits and once again paying far too much attention to my phone.

But I’m committed to changing. To help, I’m going to track my progress using the Phone Usage Patterns chart from the book.

I’ll do this in a notebook, though. Not on my phone.